We often think highly of ourselves and that is often a good thing, but the reality is that, what we think and what we often are, tend to be different. So, a person might think highly of themselves, but then their actions show that the thoughts are a way of hiding the reality that they are, in fact, struggling with feelings of unworthiness.
Feeling unworthy can stem from many things, from childhood trauma, previous rejection and feelings of shame. In the extreme end, it can lead to depression. Here then, is how to overcome those feelings.
What do you value?
The first way to building feelings of worthiness is understanding what is important to you. You can understand what you value through making a list of people you admire. What do you like about them? Why do the qualities you like about them matter to you? What goals do you wish to achieve? Why do these goals matter to you?
This way, you identify your core values and it is these core values that make you feel better about yourself as you have a great understanding of what is important to you and your life.
Radical acceptance
Radical acceptance is described as clearly and openly recognizing what we feel at that moment. Often, when you feel unworthy, you try to run away from it and try to replace it with positive thoughts. That only works to make you feel worse though.
So, practicing radical acceptance means acknowledging the fact that you feel unworthy. Take it all in, then begin to get to the root cause. Why do you feel unworthy? Is there anything you can do to improve your esteem? If not, why do you tie your self-esteem to things you cannot control?
Cultivate mindfulness
Once you acknowledge your feelings of unworthiness, then begin to work on changing that. This means, observing the negative self-judgment feelings and then learning how to let them go. You don’t need to always replace them with positive thoughts, but if you have positive thoughts to replace the negative feelings, replace them and focus on your strengths.
As you do that, extend grace to yourself. Do not get angry if you cannot get rid of negative thoughts soon enough. Be patient and be willing to try.
Remember to also keep your community close. They should help you build your feelings of worthiness and acceptance.
