We all want to be liked, if not by most people, then by the people that we consider important to us. When at work, we want our colleagues to like us because that would make our work environment better and more friendly. Meanwhile, we want our bosses to like us to improve the chances of them accepting our proposals for a raise or promotion.
When out socially, we want people to like us so that they can be our friends or even romantic partners.
This then often comes down to how you present yourself. From the first moment you walk into a room full of people, they immediately are judging you. Below are some ways to improve your perception among people and win them over.
Be a good listener
Most advice on how to be charming often involve telling you what to say, but few consider listening key.
Charm involves winning people over, and one of the best ways to win people over is to genuinely listen to what they are saying. Be curious and fascinated by people in some way, even if it is for that moment you are with them only. Listening to them lets them know that their presence is appreciated and thus, they will be drawn to you.
Assume already established connection
It often takes a long time to establish a good rapport with someone, but charming people effortlessly win people over because they speak to them as if they are long-lost relatives or friends.
Assuming rapport, which means, being warm and kind to them, opening up the conversation with leading questions and inviting a connection based on similar interests, helps break the awkwardness of meeting new people.
The other person will feel instantly drawn to you if you speak to them as though they already are a friend, rather than a stranger trying to be a friend.
Share information about yourself
To build a genuine connection, you do not only have to learn about the other person but also, share freely information about yourself. Now, this does not mean giving out your address and basically spewing out too much information.
Rather, share the tidbits of basic information about yourself that help build a connection. If they share a hobby, also share yours. You can even volunteer to share your interests first before they do. This makes them feel special and drawn towards you.
Make eye contact
You don’t need to stare into their eyes without blinking as though you are trying to fish out information just through sight. That will be intimidating.
Instead, hold a person’s eye from time to time so that you build that physical connection. Looking into their eyes as you speak makes the other person feel seen and thus, makes them feel good about themselves. That way, they become drawn to you since you make them feel special.
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